The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/31/08
I was right there with you--tied up in knots because I too can't read a map--even in English. As soon as the mood went from tense to calm, I felt that too. So glad it had a happy ending and the soon-to-be mother could concentrate on a joyous future.
08/01/08
Even in a foreign land...God still loves us! What a great message! You could really feel the lonliness and despair. The ending was perfect.
Thank you for writing this.
08/01/08
This is excellent. I enjoyed the palatable tension between husband and wife. The German also helped to set it apart from other entries
08/02/08
Oooh, I like this. I could feel her discomfort and frustration, then relief when she noticed the people smiling. Good message.
08/04/08
What can I say? This is an excellent story. I have nothing but praise for this entry. I loved the way you switched from frustration and almost anger, to peace and traquility. I would not want to have been in this young couple's place, but it ended so well. I wanted the story to go on, but after all, this wasn't a BOOK you were writing. It was a 750, or so, word story. You used your word count to the Nth degree, packing into the story a whole new life...Wonderful!...Helen
Your story is so visual--from frustration--to anger--to peace, you revealed them all with wonderful description. Your message was perfect to end the story.
Lovely Dee.Its so hard to be far from home, and so reassuring to know that God is always there....preparing a permenant Home for us all!
Great Writing.
Elizabeth.