The Official Writing Challenge
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Esther's story is one of my favorites! This was good, but I wished for a little more! I wanted to get right into the whole thick of the story and to see exactly what he thought about Esther. I loved that it was from His POV! Good job! ^_^
Nice slant on the topic. Good job. :)
Great idea, having the story from Mordecai's POV instead of Esther's, but you could have fleshed him out a little more.
This is a great story for the topic, and you did it well. I think it could be strengthened further by projecting more emotion from the characters, rather than focusing on re-telling the story. This is a wonderful piece. Keep up the great work.
I love the Bible stories retold and you did well on this one. I love these two characters.
A great idea--it's always good to look at familiar Bible stories from a new POV.

As long as you're being creative, though, you might as well go all the way, and give him a life "outside the story". Show us his living quarters, let him eat a meal, have him stumble and tear a robe--anything to flesh it out a bit.

You're a good writer, and I strongly encourge you to keep up the good work.
This was very good! I think adding a bit more dialogue to it would make this already good story even better. I enjoy seeing fresh perspectives on classic Bible stories. Good writing. Keep it up.
Liked your approach to this topic. You wrote this well.
The mechanics of your writing is nearly perfect. Nice job.

I would also like to see Mordecai "fleshed out" a bit, less "re-telling" and more "showing." Draw your readers into Mordecai's life in ways they have never considered. It would make his unique POV even more compelling.

Keep up the good work! Blessings, Cheri
I really liked your POV. Refreshing take on the topic.
I wondered if anyone would write about Mordecai and Esther! So cool.
I like the way you brought this bible story to life. Keep up the great work!