The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 2196 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/22/08
Excellent lesson in well-written story.
The descriptions really work to establish an atmosphere of mystery. Then your conclusion perfectly illustrates the adage for this week.
02/22/08
A captivating story. I was drawn in and riveted throughout.
02/23/08
There was no way I was going to stop reading this! You put me right there with them. What a waste of life--excellent example of the topic. (and I loved the historical setting!!)
Very well written. How sad to want revenge so much you would destroy your own family. Right on topic.
Very intriguing and right on topic, did this have some actual history behind it? Vivid descriptions of the tannery.
02/24/08
I was completely gripped, wanting to know so much more. Vivid descriptions and dialogue are all well done.
02/24/08
I am captivated by the way you developed the setting which put me right in the middle of the scene. Your descriptions of the details as well as the behaviors are perfectly placed in the piece to bring the proverb to life. Without a doubt--masterful.
02/25/08
This was a great example of hatred and revenge. My favorite line was: Memories of better days from decades past superimposed themselves over broken chairs and dilapidated benches. And you did the em dashes right!! :)
02/25/08
Amazing story...eloquently written. I would love to hear the pronunciation of the names. I only worked out who the man was a couple sentences before you revealed his identity. This is perfect for the topic.
Great first paragraph, drawing the reader into the scene. Riveting story and perfect for topic. Excellent!
02/25/08
You are SO good at this! I don't understand how anyone can find history boring--they need to read your work, which places us right in the scene. Masterful.
What a wonderful and historical piece of writing you have here. Awesome work.
I like this - and I wish I knew my history better. :) Good job spinning this mysterious tale.
oooh...a good mystery! The dark and stormy night, the mysterious person...and oh, yes, of course a lady in black! ^_^ I liked this! My only note is once her niece called her Lady, instead of Aunt. Was that deliberate? The ending was good-nice job! ^_^
Haunting and chilling. Wow. I want to read more!
A very compelling, atmospheric read, not to mention a great history lesson. You make learning a joy! Your descriptive writing style is top drawer. One thing to note when you are making a conditional "as if" phrase, such as "looked at her as if..." use the conditional verb were and not was. Other than that this was simply grand, use of native names and all!
You make me want to study the history behind this story after reading it. I can defintiely see why you are in the "Masters" category. This was masterful writing indeed! Very suspenseful. :)
02/28/08
Wow, this is excellent writing. You had me on the edge of my seat from the beginning. Wonderful example of the topic.
02/28/08
Peter, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! :)
It is always so very tragic to see how the desire for revenge can twist and warp a person cuasing them to waste their life. Very moving and an interesting read.
***Congratulations!*** Awesome writing! ^_^
02/28/08
Congratulations on your EC, Peter. This is very good.
Excellent and compelling! Congrats on your EC.