The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/06/07
What a beautiful story.I loved the fact that the first person reached by Tillie's Homegroup was not a homeless person but someone who could support the groups continued success.
Beautiful, heartfelt story...

I am quite moved by the entire idea, nearly speachless.

A winner in my book...good job...

"trample through your hope garden"...wonderful line...
This is a good story. And very well written!
12/06/07
Very well written. I saw everything clearly and rejoiced that someone (You) finally knows what the church is really all about.
Well written. Keep up the great writing.
WOW!!! what an awsome story! concise and to the point. Excellent job!
12/06/07
This one needs a tissue warning. I couldn't read fast enough to see if they came. Such a clever idea and the story flowed well. Character dialog was great. Good Job!
Great story! You will drew me in... I too, liked the line about the hope garden.
This truly is excellent. Humble Christians. With so much pride abounding, this was nice to read. Would actually love to see this in real life!!
12/08/07
A very strong entry with masterful flashes of brilliance. I didn't plan on reading the whole story, but it kept sucking me in. Very good job. I wish you would have given some visuals for Brewster. Had no idea what he looked like or how old he was. By some of his thoughts in the 1st paragraph I assumed he was a young officer. I also think you had the opportunity to give us more to see about Tillie. With a fuller characterizaion of Tillie and Brewster and a little polishing of some sentence structure this would have been even more outstanding than it is. I look forward to finding out who wrote this. God bless.
12/08/07
Great writing, sweet story. You had me from beginning to end!
12/10/07
You definitely wrapped me up in this story. What a wonderful witness.

You have some good advice above - the only thing I would add is that, personally, I probably would have ended the story with the officer asking to join Tillie's home group. In my opinion, that would be a bit of a stronger finish.

Enjoyed this very much.
12/10/07
Great story! It's almost more of an allegory than a short story, because it may not be particularly realistic--but it works very well on that level; you probably intended it that way! Your writing style is fresh and engaging.
12/10/07
You drew me in and held me. Even though I wondered about the actual feasibility of this I know it Could happen. The bond of Christ Is that strong. Good job!
12/10/07
You developed a very charming character in Tillie. I hope she shows up in more of your stories.

I agree with Joanne. I think you could have ended with the officer asking to join the group -- that's a very strong ending.

Great job with the topic. I really enjoyed reading this.
12/11/07
I absolutely loved your story. Your imagery is excellent, allowing me to "see" the setting. And your message is beautiful.
12/12/07
Excellent job -- excellent story -- it kept my attention all the way through -- and makes me want to find out what happened next!
Not just unique, this is a sweet, captivating story.
This is a beautiful and touching story. Well done.
12/13/07
There's only one word I can think of to describe this story; beautiful. ^-^