Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)
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TITLE: Daddy's Big Surprise | Previous Challenge Entry
By SONYETTA COOK
04/19/07 -
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Jasmine rushed to get things in order before her husband Dan made it home. It was so unlike him to come home early. The cell phone reception was terrible when he called but she could make out a few words.
Something about …a house and a surprise.
Anticipation began to stir up inside as she contemplated the conversation. “Maybe were getting a new house!” she thought. She envisioned a home that would accommodate their growing family. This pregnancy was ending and there was no room for the new baby.
She wobbled upstairs to get the girls. “A new house”, she whispered to herself. She quickly picked up toys and was almost done when the front door opened. They all rushed down stairs.
“Thank you daddy…ooh… Thank you”, the girls shouted!
“Come look honey”, Dan said as he motioned for her to come closer. The closer she got the less excited she felt. Reality set in as she realized this big brown box was the surprise. She felt the emotions bubble up deep within, but she tried not to appear disappointed. She took one look in the box and then one look at Dan. She was speechless.
“Do you like it honey?” Dan asked, with pride in his surprise.
“ I heard you say this morning the kids could have a puppy one day, so I looked all day for the perfect one.”
“Isn’t he cute?” Dan didn’t give her a chance to respond. He just kept talking.
“ See honey… I thought about what you said the other day. You know… about being more attentive, so this morning I paid attention and took some initiative. And guess what… he’s already House Broken!! That’s what I was saying earlier. So what do you think?”
Jasmine had learned long ago that words hurt, so she waited before she spoke. She prayed silently and asked for strength and words. The right words because all the wrong ones were on the tip of her tongue. She appreciated his efforts no matter how crazy he must be to think she wanted a puppy now. She was eight months pregnant! They didn’t have room for the baby! How could he be so… so… dumb? She thought. Nevertheless, she smiled and said,
“Well that’s just great sweaty.”
The visit to the vet the next day was worst than the surprise. It was located inside a very busy pet store on the other side of town. Jasmine soon realized that it was very difficult to push a shopping cart and control a puppy on a leash. She let the girls get down and walk, which she never did inside of a store like this.
“Hold your sisters hand,” she instructed the oldest.
They walked over and signed in at the vet’s office. Everything was fine until the puppy decided to potty. Jasmine acted like she didn’t see it, besides there were several dogs in the store. Who would know it was her dog that made the mess?
“Look mom,” her daughter yelled, “ the dog pooped… the dog pooped!”
So much for nobody knowing she thought as embarrassment consumed her. The store clerk handed her an accident kit. With compassion in his eyes he said, “I’ll clean it miss.” She began to get emotional until she realized that someone was missing, the one year old. Emotion took a back seat to panic. Jasmine searched the store until she found her daughter sitting comfortably next to a bowl of puppy snacks. Was she…? Yes, she was eating the doggy treats!` That was it she thought. “This dog is just not going to work out, ”she mumbled to herself.
Jasmine grabbed the hands of her children and stormed out of the store. The puppy followed behind his new family. She couldn’t wait to call Dan. Oh she had more than a few wrong words for him. She picked up her phone and saw a missed call. The number wasn’t familiar so she called it back. “O’donald realtors,” the voice answered. “Hi… this is Mrs. Jackson, I got a missed call from this number.” “Oh yes Mrs. Jackson, I’m Don. I met your husband yesterday. I wanted to let him know that the house is ready today.” Jasmine paused from confusion. “Mrs. Jackson can you let him know that we are ready to close on the house.”
Jasmine realized she had something very important to do. “Come on kids”, she said, “we’ve got to get this puppy some shots.”
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Unless the husband had been perspiring, I think you meant to call him "sweety," not "sweaty." And there were some spots were commas were needed.
A sweet domestic story--you just can't go wrong when you put a puppy in a story.
I enjoyed it and I like the surprise ending.