The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/20/07
Oooh, you got me with the ending! Hooray!

Unless the husband had been perspiring, I think you meant to call him "sweety," not "sweaty." And there were some spots were commas were needed.

A sweet domestic story--you just can't go wrong when you put a puppy in a story.
I live in fear that my husband will one day bring a puppy home so I related to this story well.
I enjoyed it and I like the surprise ending.
This is really good. Good story, well written. I did find one error. The word "sweaty" should be "sweety". But it really doesn't take away from the story or writing. Both are very good.
I loved this. He tries so hard to attentive but usually it's abuot the wrong thing. Nice story writing.
04/24/07
Very, very nice. The end brought a big smile. Great job. God bless.