The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/10/07
How creative....and adorable. Thanks for giving us a bird's eye view of their day. I wondered if you'd be able to present a message, but you sure did...and very effectively. I could put myself into the bird's day, the bird's routine. If I smack my lips at a juicy worm today, it's your fault! Your descriptions were spot on. Good job. Nice title, too.
Oh, so clever, clever, clever an idea! Your writing was clever too, as you kept this reader happy to read such a enjoyable story and didn't reveal the message to me until almost the end. Because I'm a mother, I got the "new baby" hint early when she picked up something to line her nest. I loved the personification and even the their names were clever. I could find nothing at all to give as constructive critism! Just keep writing as usual!
Oh this is cute! I very much enjoyed it, the kind of story I know a few little girls would love to read. I liked the character of Feather and how nice she was even with that mean ol' crow. The line with "Cupcake" was a very realistic touch. I will say creative-because I never quite saw 'shopping' from the bird's POV. ^_^
Cute and sweet. Yes, God does take care of his creation. Good story.
03/13/07
Oh, this was really cute and most certainly a unique take on the topic. I loved this line: “That’s mine, Cupcake.” And Jay puffing out his chest was cute, too. The message was also very sweet. I liked it a lot!
03/13/07
This is so cute! It just begs to be illustrated.
03/13/07
I could imagine this to be the dialog of birds if they could talk! What a charming little story that's nicely done. :) An entertaining tale! Blessings, Jop
03/13/07
Erm...I mean, Jo. LOL
This was so cute, especially Jay's reaction at the news he was going to be a father. Never thought of birds shopping for their food from feeder to feeder. Would have liked to know what type of birds Feather and Jay were. Fun story to read.
03/13/07
I agree with Jan!! This is begging to be illustrated. I love the way you weave a story!
03/13/07
Very entertaining! I really enjoyed reading this. It would make a marvelous children's story too. Great job!
I love it when the birds greet the morning with happy chatter. You did such a good job of describing God's creation and reminded us of God's care for us. This was excellent thoughout, creative and descriptive.
03/13/07
Oh-so-cute and very creative to boot! :) I enjoyed the read from perfect beginning to sweet ending!
03/14/07
So very sweet and fun. Great detail!
Congrats on your Highly Commended! ^_^