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TRUST JESUS TODAY

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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Reading (01/25/07)
I walked into church one Sunday morning and the choir was singing-the people were shouting- everything seemed in place except me. I wanted to crawl beneath the pew in front of me and hide away. I wanted to be somewhere where I knew no one saw- perhaps not even God. "God is here this morning church," Pastor Timothy proclaimed from the altar. Where? I thought. Where could God be? His words intimidated me. It was better to think that GOd was somewhere far off than to think he had been around- the past month- week- or even last night- as I cried until I couldn't cry any longer. "Open your bible to Proverbs 3 vs 5 and he began reading " Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding-in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths." His words almost made me laugh. Wasn't God the one who introduced me to Mark. Everytihhing from the moment we said hello seemed right. Soon after he became my best friend-three years later the only thing I felt certain of. His infedelity hit me like a ton of bricks-I was alone-afraid-unforgiving- wondering if forgiveness is even possible. How can someone who claims to love you so much hurt you so bad? Nothing made sense- no - not even pastors reading. I coudln't trust God. I couldn't trust anyone and the more I thought about trusting the more I realized that it was harder than forgiving. I felt victimized by the only person I thought would never hurt me and he did. Something I'll never understand. Perhaps that's exactly what the pastor wanted me to understand. There are things in life that we will never understand. WE spend years and tears trying to only to come to the conclusion that we can't and God reasssures us not to waste our time trying to. I realized from his reading that the battle I had been fighting was only against myself-God was there all along-and he wanted to direct my path and when the memory of the pain cuts so deep he reminds that we don't have to spend years reliving it-trying to make sense of it- that we can trust God.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Allison Egley 
02/03/07
You captured the woman's emotion very well. This needs paragraphs to make it easier to read. Start a new paragraph when someone new starts to speak. There were also some punctuation problems. You did a great job keeping the story realistic.
Jacquelyn Horne
02/04/07
I especially like the point that trusting is harder than forgiving. I had never thought of it that way. It's so true.