The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 803 times
Member Comments
You have some awesome rhymes here, and it's a very meaningful poem. Work a bit on establishing a more consistent meter, and your poetry will really soar--you've definitely got the gift. You just need to hone the craft, now.
Definitely love the message of this, and you have some very strong lines. I agree with Jan - if you work a bit on meter, making it a bit more consistent, this would flow better and make a good piece great!
Great message. I really like the last stanza. I, too, agree, a little work on the meter would make this awesome. All in all, good job. Thanks for sharing.
Quite a touching, meaningful statement of the pain you endured and how you managed before the Savior! Study meter and rhyme and I'll see you in the winner's circle! (I have never written poetry because I'm too lazy, I guess, to study meter and rhyme! Maybe if you do, you'll inspire me!)
This is pretty good, I think the title fits pretty well. The first two verses were kind of awkward taking away from the flow-maybe tighten them up just a bit? Otherwise, I liked this, especially the ending. :)
This is a wonderful testament of a loving Father who has given you a gift to help lift you from pain. I agree with the others about the meter, etc., but the message, well the message was powerful and uplifting!
Poetry is not my strength but I just want to say anyone who can put Jeroboam in a poem and make it rhyme has my respect! Well done.
Joanney, I found you! And, I really relish this poem.

You have the heart of a poet, for sure. I agree with Julie. You have a genuine gift for making remarkable rhymes!

I really appreciate the message that comes through your words, too, very "On Target!" for the challenge topic. While I see the discipline of writing poetry good for the writer of prose, too (finding the one best verb, rather than relying on lots of adjectives), you have given me more to think about: how to describe painful things via the obscurity in poems.

As for rhythm and meter: My "secret" is to count syllables and apply accent marks, so I can compare stanza and verse to tell if one of my poems sails smoothly across the floor, whether in a waltz meter, or a polka trot!

Thank you, too, dear Friend, for your generous comments on my writing.