The Official Writing Challenge
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11/10/06
Very creative. I liked Miz Beth.
11/12/06
Miz Beth is right. God giveth, and God taketh away... not the doctor or nurse. As a nurse I have often been sad when I "couldn't save" someone, but lives are never mine to save. Thanks for the reminder that docs and nurses can make a difference, but it is God Who is the giver and taker of life. Well done!
I like how the lady took the burden away from the doctor.Keep writing! (a fellow beginner)
11/12/06
I love endearing characters. Miss Beth is one of my favs. Great wisdom, deliverd powerfully by Miss Beth, "..You ain't God.."
I don't know if you place with this story or not, but you are on your way. Your writing begs attention, and a writer that creates memorable characters, like in this story, has a true gift, and that you have. God bless.
11/15/06
Great characters! Difficult to do in such a short piece, but you've created two fully rounded people--congrats!

A personal preference would be to eliminate the "tweep tweep." Since those words don't actually have the sound of the beeper (impossible to do), it interrupts the flow of your prose. More effective to write something like "The beeper shrilly demanded her attention..."

Good job with the dialect, too. Very strong entry.
11/15/06
Okay, I only had one teensy problem near the beginning when the nurse was jubilantly bowling only to learn that she was actually very stressed out. Perhaps bowling and trying to have a good time. Other than that. I LOVED it! Very well done!! Please keep writing. ;)
11/15/06
Wow! This was very good. I loved your descriptions and the dialouge between the two characters, overall the story was pretty good, I wish that I might have known a little more about Anna though. :)
I love the dialogue in this piece. Miz Beth sounds like somebody I would like to meet. A good read, and very nicely done.
I loved the dialog as well and Miss Beth is one smart lady, if'in I do says so myself!
11/16/06
Great work. I could hear Miss Beth's voice clearly. Excellent work with the cadence of the dialect. Strong message. yeggy
11/16/06
Congrats Catrina!!! Glad to see your story with a ribbon on it. You're on your way now. And again, this was a great story. God bless.
11/16/06
Told ya so!!!! ;)