The Official Writing Challenge
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Intriguing story. However, the ending seemed rushed. That was probably to make the word count, but then, maybe you could have ended with them at the diner.
10/29/06
A wonderful story and so touching! I really enjoyed reading this. The suspense had me wondering what would happen, and I rejoiced at the happy ending. Nice work!
You captured the feelings of the scared missionary well. I like the fact that the "lady" hid him. Good job.
10/30/06
I liked your story and the message of depending on God that it carries.

I would liked to have seen this written more in story form.

Really great read.
10/31/06
Good action at the beginning brought me into your story. Nice dialogue and interesting storyline kept the story moving along. Loved your title, too. Nice job.
11/01/06
Oh, I love to watch you stretch your wings. One suggestion coming from someone who seems to have lost their own knack for making clear just who is who, italics is used for thoughts. You used the italics for this, however I got confused on when you had God's voice in italics and Darren's as well. Perhaps you could keep Darren's italics and lose God's by saying something like, "There was His voice again," or something like that. Just remember though, this advice is coming from someone whose entry this week had many confused about who was dying and who wasn't. LOL I REEEEEEaaaaallly liked this story. Yes, it did feel rushe at the end. I think you could have just ended without telling us how it all turned out. Most of us here hate happy endings anyway!!!! Oh, I'm just kidding! Great job though. Kept me wondering what was next!! I hope I haven't said too much. If so, have an amnesia peanut, you'll forget I said to much! LOL
11/01/06
Good story line, a few structure problems that can be worked out will eliminate confusion. Keep writing.
This was placed in level one? Wow - this is great. I loved every word from beginning to end. Awesome, awesome job. Can't wait to see it in the winners circle cause I believe it should be there.
I really liked this. This would make a good start to a tale of a missionary and his wife. You need to expand it. Maybe even to a book.