The Official Writing Challenge
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10/12/06
Very good. I liked how the brother embodied what he was telling his brother. That he was never alone. The fact that he showed up just when his brother was despairing the most.
10/12/06
Very well written; wonderful wording, and the narrator's POV is engaging despite his pain -- he is very human! I even chuckled a couple of times. Believable characters and situation, good grasp of the English language and of grammar and spelling, encouraging message...this story's got it all! Thank you for sharing :)
10/12/06
Yowsers, what's this doing in Beginners? Such excellence in writing, very masterful at capturing emotion, and a unique approach to the topic.
10/13/06
What I liked - I picked it first because of the title...and then as I read, I was amazed at the depth and wording and creativity. I thought too - what are you doing as a beginner?
What I might change - really nothing...perhaps at the end I might do abit more but it really works as it is. Nice take on the topic. Good emotion.
10/13/06
At first I saw nothing about fire-fighter...but in the end I understood it loud & clear. Six paragraphs start with "I"...which is difficult NOT to do when writing in FIrst Person...but could be worked out differently; However, nicely done. Good job.
10/16/06
This made me cry, and it definitely touched my heart. You really caught this man's character and you told the story very well. Excellent work!
Excellent. I try not to repeat what's already said. But I agree with it all. This is a good entry. You will move up soon enough. OH yeah, I cried too. Thanks.
10/18/06
This is a very moving and well written story. Great job.