The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 780 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/12/06
Very cute twist at the end, and a good job on realistic dialog. Having the football player approach the dad right in class is perhaps a bit "pat" and unrealistic...maybe have him ask the dad if they can talk, and leave your reader to draw the conclusion? Sweet story.
10/13/06
Great story and delightful ending. Needs some editing, but keep up the good work!
10/14/06
A very enjoyable read, and I chuckled at the end becasue you 'got' me. I agree with Jan about the footballer, but I did enjoy it overall.
10/15/06
Oh, what a cute story! I loved the way you developed the characters with the dialog, and I really enjoyed the ending. Nice work!
10/18/06
I truly enjoyed the story. I shared with the characters, and appreciated the flow of the dialogue and thoughts. I of course enjoyed the follow-through at the end. I agree with the previous posts and would like to add thank you for a good story.
10/18/06
This was a very nice story. It brought a smile to my face, as well. Great job!