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TRUST JESUS TODAY
During the break from the challenge, I got a hankering to try my hand at poetry. I need some honest feedback on this poem. I've got the rhyme and the meter (I think) but don't know if it has "heart" if you know what I mean. Will you guys tell me what you think, and not worry about hurting my feelings? Love ya.
Darkness full around my soul;
I cannot see the way.
Blind I am to my own worth;
My path in shadow lay.
The night I find so comforting
It hides myself from me.
No blemishes are visible
My faults I cannot see.
I tread the wide road by the edge
The smooth and easy lane
Seeing not the hazards there
Or that I walk in vain.
From the corner of my eye
I catch a flick'ring spark
Of light, then gone, yet I care not;
I'm happy in the dark.
Foolishly I traipse along
Blind to what lies afore
Deaf to warnings and the signs
From those who've gone before
A gentle hill, a downward slope
I laugh, I run, I skip.
Alas, a stone is in the path
And in my haste I trip
Fumbling, stumbling, stagg'ring fool
I grope and numbly reach
So near I come to falling in
The pitch-black cav'rnous breach.
Then comes again that flick'ring light
And in its warm soft glow
I see a hand held out to me
And hope begins to grow
As I totter on the edge
I stretch my arm and plead,
"Please save me from this certain death
I know it's you I need!"
He takes hold of my trembling hand
And scales fall from my eyes
This Man was by me all the time
Just waiting for my cries.
The light that I had shunned so long
Originates in Him
His brilliance doesn't blind or burn
His radiance won't dim.
He pulls me from the brink of death
I drop down to my knees
"My Saviour, Lord, my life is yours
Don't ever leave me, please!"
"My child, my love, don't ever fear,
Just make this solemn vow
To leave this path that leads to death
And follow me. Come now"
"My Lord, I'm sorry, I was blind
To all that you could give
From this day forth I swear to you
For you I want to live."
The road I walk is different now
It's not so straight and wide.
But I fear not for it is lit
With Jesus by my side.
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