Writer’s Rejection
by Megan DiMaria
Rejection is an ugly word, especially to a writer. But we need to keep it in perspective.
To help you put rejection into perspective, I’d like to discuss my shoes.
Photo via http://www.sxc.hu/profile/squidonius
I have a pair of lovely leather shoes. I really like my shoes. They are stylish, look good with many types of clothing, and are comfortable to wear for many hours. I love, love, love my shoes.
A few months ago, I noticed my shoes were beginning to look worn out and were no longer attractive to wear with dress pants. I thought about purchasing another pair of shoes, and then I had the bright idea to bring them to a shoe repairman. The repairman put new heels on my shoes, polished the leather, and blackened the soles. After some effort and work, my leather shoes are spiffed up and look as good as new.
Now, if I offered my shoes to someone and they don’t love them like I do, should I be heartbroken? Does their rejection of my shoes make me less of a person? Does it make my shoes less attractive? Does it make me less worthy?
Think about it, I bet my shoes wouldn’t fit just anyone. They wouldn’t be right for a number of people with different tastes and different needs. But that doesn’t make my shoes less valuable or less worthy.
That’s the way I look at rejection. My manuscript (shoes) is polished and ready to go out into the world. But perhaps the agent/editor (consumer) needs a different size or is looking for a different style. It’s easy to look at the situation from this perspective and see that it’s not always personal when your manuscript (shoes) is rejected! Sometimes the rejection is not about the story or craft but for other reasons, some of them simply being reasons of timing.
Rejection is an ugly word, especially to a writer. But we need to keep it in perspective. If we’ve been gifted/called to write, then we should keep writing and polishing our manuscripts. After all, many successful writers have suffered rejection.
Now that you’ve gotten the fear of rejection out of your mind, put your new confidence to the test by planning to attend a writer’s conference this year. Many writers will testify that their career got on the fast track after they attended their first conference. You meet other writers, editors, agents, and learn about the craft and the industry at conferences. Your competence and enthusiasm for your writing gets a great boost by attending conferences.
Don’t stress about rejection, keep moving forward in your career.
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Megan DiMaria has been a freelance writer for 20 years and is the author of two women’s fiction novels, Searching for Spice and Out of Her Hands, both of which are set in the Denver area. She is a member of several writers’ groups and enjoys encouraging other writers in their pursuits. Visit Megan online at http://www.megandimaria.com/index.html or at her blog at http://www.megandimaria.blogspot.com/
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12 Comments until now.
This is great post. Really motivating. Let me suggest my friends to read this.. thanks for the post.
That is an outstanding point of view. Though I have not gotten to the point of having something rejected I have not placed in a contest I had hoped to. This makes me feel a lot better about it and prepares me for the day when a rejection letter will come. Thank you so much for sharing.
Really like this analogy, Megan. It’s to the point, yet easy to keep in mind.
Fantastic analogy! Thanks for the encouragement.
Thank you for your kind words. Write on, friends.
I hope you’ll also check out my blog at megandimaria.blogspot.com.
Straight to the point.
Totally love the idea behind this. Great post!
Wow! Thanks for this post, Megan–exactly what I needed to read at this point in my journey. What a great analogy too (using shoes). Blessings, Patti Jo
I have to say, I do understand your point, but I just have a slight problem with the analogy.
To me, shoes are impersonal objects. I pick shoes that look good (to me) and are comfortable. But I don’t put that much of myself into picking out a pair of shoes. Writing, for me, is very different. Writing comes from a piece of my soul – the deep subconscious part of me that I rarely let out into the open.
So, yeah, when people reject my shoes (if it ever actually happened), I don’t care because it just doesn’t seem that personal to me. When people reject my writing, I do care because it is personal. They’re rejecting part of me that I’ve put down on paper (or computer screen).
I know that not all rejections are based on what was written or the quality of the writing, but some are, and that makes it personal to me, especially since most of the time you don’t get any explanation as to why your work is being rejected. Or maybe I’m just being too sensitive.
Still, I won’t let the rejection stop me from writing because someday my writing will resonate with someone else (it’s happened before), and that makes it all worth it.
Thanks for the encouraging post, Megan. Hope you’re enjoying a refreshing holiday weekend!
The shoe metaphor wears well not only for rejection in writing, but other challenges in life, as well.
Thank you, Megan.
Good post, Megan. I’ll never look at my shoes the same way again. Hmmm. It need to go shopping for a new pair!