Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Read What's New Join
Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!




 
Humor PLEASE ENCOURAGE
AUTHOR BY COMMENTING


  LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE   SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE
  HIRE THIS WRITER
REPORT ARTICLE

 TRACK THIS AUTHOR ADD TO MY FAVORITES
corner
What's New
 
corner
 
FOR FUN Annual Newsletter From The Absolute Worst Family In America
by David Ian
08/14/07
For Sale
Author requests article critique


  Mail
 





Dear Friends & Family Who Need A Life,

I almost forgot about you all, "The Little People" as Henry calls you, what with everything going on. Let me tell about our youngest son Billy -- BOY can HE work the government system! That nagging injury he got a work with on his toe he's been able to get disability from both work and the government as WELL as file for unemployment. TRIPLE DIPPING! I knew that boy had it in him!

Our oldest boy Chet has still got his highway offramp panhandling spot just before Sunnyvale Street, where they back up at the light and give lots of money. He was able to swipe both the leg braces AND steel arm crutches from a cripple at the downtown shelter so now he REALLY looks the part of the homeless/helpless. YOU GO CHET! He's still looking for a dog, though, since the other one died in the heatwave. Whew! Wasn't that a scorcher???!

Jenny has just trapped herself a man by threatening a paternity suit -- his name is Howard or Dirk or something. Hopefully he won't ask for a DNA test and just give her support money since it really is from her previous "beau" who got himself a fancy schmancy lawyer. THAT one was certainly a throwback! Good riddance to "Mr. Lawyerman" hello "Howard" ...or "Dirk" or whatever.

We're doing just fine, Henry is running his e-mail scams in-between watching football games (or baseball, or hockey, or golf...he's ALWAYS watching T.V. that rascal!) and got access to SIX bank accounts in ONE MONTH! He keeps telling me he's going to take me out some night to celebrate once he scores some meth! We owe some money to loan sharks, too, but they can wait a bit longer don't you think? ;^)

I'm still blackmailing a Senator from our "Chicago Fact Finding Trip" together, so the second income is pretty steady, although if things go badly with the ethics committee and the discretionary funds there is a possibility for a BOOK DEAL (!). Won't THAT be exciting! Larry King here I come! Still doing some "gardening" although the DEA is starting to sniff around a bit more, and Henry thinks our pool maintanence man who comes by once a month is undercover FBI! Wowee!

Well, that's all from this neck of the woods. Hope you can try to measure up (ha!). As Henry sez: "One way or another, we're going to wind up famous!" How 'bout THAT?!!

Ta Ta For Now!

Henry & Eunice

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
Read more articles by David Ian or search for other articles by topic below.




Read more by clicking on a link:
Free Reprints
Main Site Articles
Most Read Articles
Highly Acclaimed Challenge Articles.
New Release Christian Books for Free for a Simple Review.

NEW - Surprise Me With an Article - Click here for a random URL


God is Not Against You - He Came on an All Out Rescue Mission to Save You


...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them... 2 Cor 5:19

Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Acts 13:38

LEARN & TRUST JESUS HERE

The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
 
corner
Corner
This article has been read 846 times     < Previous | Next >


Member Comments
Member Date
lauren finchum 10 Jun 2008
LOL. Scary but funny. ;-)




TRUST JESUS TODAY











Free Audio Bible
500 Plus Languages
Faith Comes By Hearing.com