Healing
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Caring people over the few years I've known my homeless friend who has a drinking problem have tried to help him overcome his problem. After having gone for treatment, at a local, inpatient clinic, then in a more remote area, Larry still keeps coming back to the bottle, his god.
Larry's girlfriend has said that when he has a problem, he thinks he'll find the answer in the bottle. After staying off the bottle a short time, he had a problem so he picked up a pint at the state store.
As was the case with Lewis Carrol's "Hunting of The Snark",
"They roused him with muffins—they roused him with ice—
They roused him with mustard and cress—
They roused him with jam and judicious advice—
They set him conundrums to guess."
concerned people have tried different methods to help Larry get straight.
Recently, I used humor. I told the couple I'd make a movie, starring Larry, called "The Answer's in The Bottle." In the movie, a drunk finds a bottle full of booze. He drinks it down, and at the bottom is a waterproof piece of paper. Larry pulls it out, opens the small scroll, and reads the message "STOP DRINKING."
Recently, he seemed to be making excuses for his drunkenness and downplayed it. When I confronted him, at one point, he got a little testy. I'm trying to follow Biblical advice. "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted". Galatians 6:1
I discussed this with my pastor, who said I need to not constantly confront Larry about his problem but not allow the destructive behavior to destroy him. I then adapted the lines from Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler":
"You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run"
Although Larry told me I'm like an older brother to him, asked me to figuratively beat him up, and told me he used my name as a sponsor, he still got a little testy. People become defensive with the truth if they don't want to admit it or deal with it..
All I can do is be there for Larry, set an example, and offer my counsel to him when he's open to it. As the Kenny Rogers' song goes, I have to learn when to speak and when to be silent. Ultimately, it's God who he's going to have to allow to work in him. One of the rules in the Celebrate Recovery/Biblically based 12 Steps program I attend is that you don't try to fix anybody. That's God's role.
I go to Celebrate Recovery, which deals not just with drug and alcohol addiction, but other habits, hurts and hangups, to help my anxiety, resentment with people who have wronged me, and particularly to help me find peace in dealing with my cancer stricken friend in the nursing home.
Larry said he would go with me to Celebrate Recovery.
We all have habits, hurts and hangups. It's just a matter of degree and type. Swiss psyciatrist Carl Jung related a story where he visited an insane asylum with an "intellegent layman", who remarked that the inmates were like everyday people, except that their problems were greatly magnified.
Dr. Jung also treated a man for alcoholism for a year, who after a time, returned to the bottle. He told the man he was a nearly hopeless case, but the only possible hope was to seek treatment with a religious group. The man did, and overcame his problem.
"As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17
God, and the counsel of fellow believers, is the answer in the bottle, the only way for Larry to stop drinking and destroying his life.
"I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another." Romans 15:14
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I really enjoyed this article. I can tell you from experience that 12 step programs can be helpful, if the attendee will apply that which they learn from the meetings.
I saw in your previous article that you might be writing a book about the homeless. The best of wishes to you if you do pursue that as a project.
Thank you for review my article "The Crown of Life". Your encouragement is sincerely appreciated.
God bless you!