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Her heart raced, she felt like she had butterflies in her stomach, her palms became sweaty when she saw him. The new boy in her school.
Olivia felt something she never felt before. She heard other girls, her cousins talking about being in love, having a crush . She now knew what it felt like. For the first time in her life at the age of sixteen there was a boy she was very attracted to, one she really liked. The affection she felt for him, she knew would last for a lifetime.
Although this was natural and expected during one's teenage years. Olivia was not prepared to deal with these new feelings. She was a shy girl who felt embarrassed about her feelings for him. She thought to herself a good christian girl should not have them, especially one who had planned to become a nun. So now there was a great conflict within her. She felt drawn to him. He was handsome, with quite a likable personality but he wore a stud on one of his ears. Her relatives would usually frown on guys wearing stud earrings. She was sure they, especially her grandmother being a very traditional and old fashioned woman would not approve of him. She wondered how could she stop liking him, how can she stop thinking about him. What about her childhood aspirations and the expectation of others. The conflict and confusion in her already fearful heart deepened .
As his expressions of interest increased. Olivia decided to pretend. She decided to pretend she did not like him. She displayed a somewhat cold attitude towards him and justified her attitude by rationalizing saying he always has so many girls around him it should not affect him if one girl ignores him. So Olivia ignored him even though she had truly liked him.
Olivia pretended so well that in a short time she was able to convince him that she disliked him. Her attitude now confused him. This girl was acting as though she hated him for no reason.
One day she observed he no longer seemed interested in her. He did not glance at her when she was sitting in her favorite spot in the library. In fact when he did look at her it seemed as thought he now disliked her, may be even hated her. Her heart sank but she kept her composure. Eventually she saw him a couple times with a specific girl. He now had a girlfriend. She was now disappointed that he had stopped liking her.
Olivia was now battling feelings of anger towards him for liking someone else, regret, remorse, fear and yes even the ugly jealously. However, sweet Olivia kept her calm and compose demeanor for which she was known for. But inside she was hurt and confused about how this and other matters in her life. Olivia now mourned how harsh life had been for her and her sister. The struggles of growing up without parents. She knew although she liked him a lot having a boyfriend at that age was a threat to her belief in chastity until marriage. Perhaps what she feared the most was being a statistic of teenage pregnancy. But why did Olivia just not share her values with him.
Why did Oliver choose to act like she did not like him?
Why did Olivia pretend so much?
It pained Olivia that he had stopped liking her. But did he... was he just angry about the way she treated him.
Meanwhile someone who loves Olivia was looking on.
Olivia did not know there was someone who loved her deeply, whose heart yearned for her to know of his love for her. She knew his name, if you asked her she would say she was following him, living her life for him but did she really know him.
Did Olivia really know Jesus Christ?
She always heard it said God loves you. But it neither soothe nor calm her fears. Oliver was very timid. Soon she would experience that unconditional love. The love of God
Olivia at the age of eighteen came into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. She now understood the difference between being religious and being truly born gain, becoming a new person on the inside. She experience everlasting love. This love started evicting fear from her heart. Strengthening, healing and inspiring her.
Over the years Olivia realized that she has not forgotten about this boy who is now a man. A man now loving someone else... perhaps who may have long forgotten about her.
Was he ever in love with her?
Was it just youthful infatuation?
What is his side of this love story?
Let us pray that despite the answer Olivia would always be prepared to share with him the love of Christ and her life and decisions would glorify Jesus Christ.
By Tesse Wilson
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