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Someone cuts you off in traffic. Someone jumps in front of you in line while you're waiting for your morning coffee. An important appointment had to be moved to another week. When something doesn't work out the way we envision it, we may grumble, groan, curse and have an attitude that nosedives from upbeat to downtrodden. So how do you keep an attitude that's good when circumstances are bad?
We're all striving for a happy life, and we realize that maintaining a positive attitude, rather than a negative one, is key. Yet, for whatever reason, we can easily be drawn into the pit of negativity. Something powerfully speaks to our dark side. Even authors who regularly write about having a positive attitude can find it challenging to maintain one.
Having a good attitude doesn't just magically happen. It's a choice and a decision to intentionally change your perspective. You have to decide you're going to make a change in your life that involves seeking the good, looking for the positive and making the effort to transform every day into an enjoyable experience -- one that makes you feel fulfilled and motivated.
The first step toward having a good attitude is that you need to recognize that you -- and only you -- control your reactions to life's circumstances. The thoughts and beliefs that we hold regarding life create our outside reality. What we believe in our inner world will manifest itself in our outer world -- not vice versa.
Happiness is a choice, but we often play the blame game by pointing fingers at everything and everyone we feel has caused us an injustice. Viewing happiness as a choice isn't easy, but it's the best option you can choose for yourself.
When you find yourself in a difficult situation, it's entirely up to you to choose a good attitude. Things happen, and it's your choice to decide how you're going to respond to them. Even though you may lack control of what's happening outside of yourself, you can absolutely control your reaction to those conditions. And if you can react with a good attitude, your life circumstances may surprise you and take a turn for the better.
Another means of having a good attitude is that you cannot surround yourself with negative people who are not supportive of your happiness. When you make the decision to have a more positive life, you must prune away all of the negative people in your world. This is difficult to do, because ridding yourself of people hurts -- even when they're people who undermine your happiness.
Not only will you have to eliminate negative people, but you have to curtail doing things that are causing negativity in your own life. Take a good, hard look at behaviors that are benefiting you, as well as those that are not. To maintain a good attitude, you need to concentrate on behaviors that serve you, and those that do not -- and eliminate those that don't.
One action that blocks us from having a good attitude is that we place much too much emphasis on other people's opinions regarding us -- and we often allow these opinions to undermine our opinions about ourselves. When you do this, you void your own personal power. Nothing that anyone says about you is of any significance unless you identify with them or agree with them.
So cease identifying with other people's opinions and only recognize how you see yourself. Never accept anyone else's reality as your own -- after all, they're only mortals, just like you. Never let anyone deny that you can achieve anything you set your mind upon doing. And, most crucial to a good attitude, never allow another person's opinion of you have any bearing upon what you believe about yourself.
Another block to having a good attitude is our tendency to compare ourselves to others. It's an express route to feeling miserable about yourself. There will always be someone who is taller, thinner, has more money, a bigger house and a more expensive car. If you absolutely can't resist the comparison urge, compare yourself to someone who is less fortunate than you -- and you'll realize just how abundant your life truly is. It all boils down to a matter of perspective.
If, on the other hand, you believe you need more in order to be happy, then you will keep needing more, and keep acquiring more. This cycle will continue endlessly, producing very little satisfaction, as long as you believe it's true. If, however, you focus on what you possess, rather than what you lack, you'll always have enough and will, in turn, cultivate a good attitude.
Having a good attitude also involves finding the positive in everything -- in every person, and in every circumstance. Often, the positive is not obvious, and we have to force ourselves to look long and hard to find it. It's easier to sit back and get mired in negativity by default.
Instead, you need to make a conscious effort to find the pearl within a difficult or challenging situation by asking yourself, "What is good about this?" No matter how insurmountable a situation may appear, you can always find the good in it if you invest the time to think about it. At the very least, it's a learning experience. And, if we try hard enough, we can cultivate a good attitude that sticks with us no matter what.
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