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Me and My Hubbie, Hilarious
by MARLA GROETHE
04/16/13
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He comes home with a gorgeous snake leather Liz Claiborne purse. “Wow, thanks Hun, I love it!” He says, “I didn’t bring it home for you. I need it for the material to reupholster my car’s gearshift.” I am in luck because I have four purses sitting in the donation pile so I promptly give him one of those. We are good.

He cuts my old purse into his car’s gearshift pattern. He asks, “Do you know where the upholstery thread is I just purchased yesterday?” I tell him I never saw it. Some how, some way, I am blamed for losing the bag that held the thread even though I never saw it. “Don’t worry about it” he encourages me. How in the world am I being forgiven for something I know nothing about? I suggest he uses gorilla glue to stick the new leather onto the old leather gearshift. He stares at me, and then makes due with some regular strength thread.

I notice the new purse he brought home (that I gently stole from him) has some scuffmarks. I cannot get them out with 409 All Purpose Cleaner. He takes the purse to the garage for some WD-40 treatment. The purse returns with white scrape marks where the black scuffmarks were. I send a “thank you Hun, I love you” his way. He interrupted his gear-reupholstering project to make the purse of my dreams better. That is true love.

He sits back down and asks where his needle is. A needle is easily camouflaged on our Australian Cypress flooring so I immediately help look for it. We have no success. He again repeats his favorite phrase “Don’t worry about it.” I have to worry because our thirteen year old, arthritic, partially blind, deaf dog will be home alone tomorrow; his accidentally tramping on a three-inch needle is out of the question, if I can help it. The hubbie finds the needle on the office desk, which makes no sense since he was sewing in the living room. I just go with it, happy that our dog will not be stuck to the floor like a pincushion when I come home tomorrow.

Marriage is so much fun! Thank you God for my hubbie.


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Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom  20 Apr 2013
I love this. You have a delightful sense of humor. That tongue in cheek kind is my favorite. Make sure you start a new paragraph each time someone different speaks, even if it's just a word or two. You also could do more showing by using dialog and narrative lines more. For example: "Honey, why don't you just use gorilla glue?" He stops in his tracks, turns and raises one eyebrow at me. Something like that shows the reader what you say and gives them something to picture in his reaction. I think you have a wonderful way with words. You had me chuckling several times because I could totally relate to the MC. I loved the part about the needle being on the desk. Things like that seem to happen all the time. Keep writing, you have a wonderful way with words.




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