Grief
Dear Father,
I have decided to write you this letter because I feel it’s time for you to know how much your decision to leave us has affected our entire family. Had you stuck around, I don’t think we’d all be as screwed up as we are, but mostly me. I know that sounds selfish but the truth is I actually HATE you for abandoning us!
Surprised by the anger that unexpectedly sprang forth from the rage that had been secretly lurking inside of Taylor for so many years; she choked back screams, denying them the power to be anything more than spasms trapped within her chest. However, she was powerless to suppress the hot tears of anguish that abruptly flooded her eyes, spilling to their demise upon the flimsy paper of her long overdue letter.
I’m twenty-six now, and married. However, I’m unable to have children of my own and the truth is I blame you! You won’t hear me calling you Dad in this letter, because I have a dad. A wonderful man who’s raised me since I was six years old. He’s my dad, not you! You haven’t earned it. Sure, you’re my father, but only through biology.
Until today, the only emotion I’ve felt about you not being in my life, was sadness because you didn’t love me enough to be there for me while I was growing up. I was envious when the boys spoke about you with fondness and laughter, telling me what a good dad you were before you left; but now I resent that I’ve missed someone I don’t even remember!
If you had stuck around, none of us would be as messed up as we are. All because you chose not to finish your job of raising us, like a good father should have!
Kenneth began stealing several years after you left and long story short, he’s spent most of his life in prison! Every Psychiatrist that’s treated him said that you leaving the way you did is the reason he began acting out.
Then there’s Ryan and Randy who’ve wasted their lives drinking and have abandoned their families, just like you!
As for Bruce, he’s traveling around the country like a hobo. Sleeping wherever he can, and selling his blood for money when he’s not taking acid or getting stoned.
Mom became an alcoholic after you left and was clueless about the molestation that took place under her own roof. That’s right father, MOLESTATION by your sons!
It wasn’t until the man I consider my “REAL DAD” married mom, that I truly felt loved. He cared then and he cares for me now. He and mom got divorced because of her drinking and I don’t blame him, but unlike you, he took me with him. If it weren’t for him, I be a looser too, JUST LIKE YOU AND ALL OF YOUR SONS! AND I’d probably be an alcoholic like mom!
I know I shouldn’t blame you entirely, but the fact is, I do and I can’t forgive you. I WON’T forgive you, and…, unable to continue her letter, Taylor flung herself face down upon the overgrown grass. Grieving uncontrollably, she allowed her guttural pleas of despair to escape from the darkness within.
Once Taylor’s heart-rending turbulence had eclipsed, she slowly sat up and gently removed the soaked auburn strands of hair now clinging to her flushed cheeks. Using the hem of her eyelet trimmed skirt; she patted the moistness from her wearied blue eyes. Inhaling deeply she drew a stabilizing breath as she reached for her discarded pen to finish what she had bravely begun.
I’m so sorry Dad, I do love you and I do forgive you. I know your were doing the best you could working as a lumberjack to support five children and I’m sure that if that tree hadn’t fallen on you, you would have never left us.
Rising to leave, Taylor drew the letter close to her chest and embraced it tenderly before placing it upon her father’s grave. “Goodbye Daddy,” Taylor whispered affectionately, “I look forward to meeting you in heaven.”
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A tiny bit of read ink looser should be loser.
It's too bad this didn't make it into the submissions, but I'm glad you posted it here to share with others.
Writing a letter like that is a great idea and I'm sure others who have felt abandoned no matter the circumstance will take a great message with them after reading this heart-wrenching, but very honest piece.
So sorry it did not work out for the Challenge, but then, God may have other uses for it where it can be used FOR HIS GLORY!
Mona
You did a remarkable job on this story. It IS a masterpiece and I'm not saying that to make you feel better. Honest. It is well-written, the emotions are raw and strong...I felt what she was feeling and saw it all. I was ready to hate the mc's dad - didn't see that ending coming at all. (There was one small typo, I think, possibly a word that should have been a contraction...very minor and doesn't detract one bit from this marvelous story.) Well done and well done.