GShuler wrote:I know these shouldn't rhyme but is internal rhyming taboo as well?
I see you flying
in defiance of science.
Stay free, Bumblebee.
This one is just for fun:
Don't count your chickens
while they are still in the egg...
they may be guineas.
Gerald, sorry it took so long to respond to this. I'm on vacation...having a great time
Both of your haiku are delightful!
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I've never done one of these before, so I probably will not do as well as others. Ten point for anyone who can guess what it means.
Oh Precious Daughter
evil wind took you away
from me forever.
Why would a young man live in a wasteland when the castle of his dreams is standing by?
Why would a princess put on an old dress to dance with her beloved and the chance to catch his eye?
colin_nielsen wrote:I've never done one of these before, so I probably will not do as well as others. Ten point for anyone who can guess what it means.
Oh Precious Daughter
evil wind took you away
from me forever.
Colin, how beautiful and sad!
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lol the metaphor wasn't as clear as my other one. Tough to do with such a low word count.
It was supposed to be written from the POV of a Japanese man who has lost his daughter in the atomic blasts that ended world war two.
Why would a young man live in a wasteland when the castle of his dreams is standing by?
Why would a princess put on an old dress to dance with her beloved and the chance to catch his eye?
colin_nielsen wrote:lol the metaphor wasn't as clear as my other one. Tough to do with such a low word count.
It was supposed to be written from the POV of a Japanese man who has lost his daughter in the atomic blasts that ended world war two.
Oh, how beautiful! I puzzled over it for a while last night. This answer was one I didn't consider. You could title it, to "reveal" the symbolism somewhat.
Henry, those are wonderful--I've got to admit that I'd substitute coffee for chai tea in that last one, but I appreciate the mood!
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Hey Jan,
I just wanted to tell you that the poem I wrote for the challenge - Almanac http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article- ... p?id=31959 - was inspired by this class. I would never have thought of it otherwise. And I was so disappointed that one of my lines was missing a syllable. I counted it so many times, but revised it at the last minute. Oh well. It was just a reminder that I'm not there yet and have to keep working on my skills.
"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8 NLT
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glorybee wrote:Henry, those are wonderful--I've got to admit that I'd substitute coffee for chai tea in that last one, but I appreciate the mood!
But, I don't like the word coffee It's confusing; both hard and soft sounding, and reminds me of a person who gets coughed on. "Jan spread the germs. She didn't cover her mouth. She was the cougher. Poor Henry, an innocent bystander, was the receipient of the uncovered spray of germs. Henry was the coughee and unhappy. He ordered a cup of hot chai tea to chill. He was told they only had iced chai tea. He told them to put it in the microwave and humor him because he was a coughee in recovery."
But, other than that, thanks for the compliment.
Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,... Col. 3:23
The waitress asks me
"Pepsi okay? No Coke here."
My saddened heart weeps.
Jan Ackerson -- Follow me, friend me, give me a wave! http://www.superioreditingservice.com
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"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8 NLT
so many mentions
of soft drink preferences
making me thirsty
Lisa J.
I don't know what my future holds... but I know WHO holds my future...and "I'm persuaded that HE is able to keep that which I've committed unto HIM against that day".