Both of these are excellent, Cherie! I love the image in the first one, and of course, I always love a bit of silliness! Can't want to see what you have to write for the next class!CherieAnn wrote:This is my first Jan's class! And my first haiku since elementary school. We'll see how it goes....
Fields of yellow orange
North Dakota sunflowers
Standing tall as me.
"Orange" is one syllable where I'm from, so I think that's acceptable.
And here is my silly one; it breaks the ryhming rule and (I think)the subjective:
I would like to rhyme
Me a silly little line
And I hope that's fine!
Jan's Poetry Class: Haiku
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Haiku - The Mountain River
sparkling diamonds,
drift by as liquid laughter,
cool and blue, she flows.
drift by as liquid laughter,
cool and blue, she flows.
May God's gentle grace be with you.
Jim McWhinnie
Jim McWhinnie
Re: Haiku - The Mountain River
Jim, that's beautiful! Perfect haiku form, and a bit of personification, and a lovely image.OldManRivers wrote:sparkling diamonds,
drift by as liquid laughter,
cool and blue, she flows.
Thanks for popping by!
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Oh, Chely, so pretty! I love the alliteration of the "W" sounds, suggesting the wind, and the use of "soliloquies", such a gorgeous word.Chely wrote: Wind whips, willows bend,
whispering soliloquies,
extolling His Son.
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Here is my attempt if it's not to late.
Under the trees shade
I feel the cool summer breeze
writing this Haiku
Under the trees shade
I feel the cool summer breeze
writing this Haiku
Luke 12
11When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, 12for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say."
11When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, 12for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say."
Hey, Jer (is that what I should call you?), welcome!Jer2911 wrote:Here is my attempt if it's not to late.
Under the trees shade
I feel the cool summer breeze
writing this Haiku
Not too late at all...there's no tardy bell in this class.
I love the fact that this haiku is self-referential...gives it a little "zinger" at the end. And it fits all the other criteria; syllable count is correct, you mention nature, no rhyming...
Only thing I'd do is add an apostrophe to "tree's".
Thanks for popping in! I've started the next thread--quatrain. Hope to see you there!
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- CatLin
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Since I've been working on a few Haiku's, I thought I'd go ahead and post them. Besides, what else am I going to do with them? (Do I get extra credit? )
smokey autumn air
red flames nibbling at darkness
camp fires dot the night
Glistening turquoise
roils into foaming whitecaps,
crests, curls, crashes ebbs.
Like a bolt of lightning
Your Holy Spirit pierces
Illuminating
smokey autumn air
red flames nibbling at darkness
camp fires dot the night
Glistening turquoise
roils into foaming whitecaps,
crests, curls, crashes ebbs.
Like a bolt of lightning
Your Holy Spirit pierces
Illuminating
Catrina Bradley
FaithWriters Profile
Scattered Seeds
Jewels of Encouragement
"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (The Message)
FaithWriters Profile
Scattered Seeds
Jewels of Encouragement
"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (The Message)
Sure, Catrina, you can have extra credit. You're the haiku queen! These are marvelous!
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Beth, that's a good one!
Just a suggestion: the "faux" in the 2nd line gives away the "punch" in the 3rd. Can you add a different 7th syllable?
I'd love to visit Arizona some day; it's COLD here in Michigan already!
Just a suggestion: the "faux" in the 2nd line gives away the "punch" in the 3rd. Can you add a different 7th syllable?
I'd love to visit Arizona some day; it's COLD here in Michigan already!
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Very good, Allison--and I'm so sorry you're sick. Your haiku are great; I love the image of the air "biting".
How about wandering over to "quatrain" and trying your hand at one of those?
Now, stay away from me.
How about wandering over to "quatrain" and trying your hand at one of those?
Now, stay away from me.
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I know these shouldn't rhyme but is internal rhyming taboo as well?
I see you flying
in defiance of science.
Stay free, Bumblebee.
This one is just for fun:
Don't count your chickens
while they are still in the egg...
they may be guineas.
I see you flying
in defiance of science.
Stay free, Bumblebee.
This one is just for fun:
Don't count your chickens
while they are still in the egg...
they may be guineas.
I had something really memorable to write here but I forgot what it was.
Gerald Shuler
Gerald Shuler
yes, you're right, I gave away the "punch" ...glorybee wrote:Beth, that's a good one!
Just a suggestion: the "faux" in the 2nd line gives away the "punch" in the 3rd. Can you add a different 7th syllable?
I'd love to visit Arizona some day; it's COLD here in Michigan already!
we'd love to have you visit AZ! ... we're high desert, so not quite as warm as Phoenix though..
Beth LaBuff
..in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son... Hebrews 1:2
..in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son... Hebrews 1:2